I have been on a path of intense yearning to learn about myself for about 5 years. Physically, mentally, and emotionally it has been a road unlike anything I could have predicted and I don't think the woman I was 6 years ago, would recognize the woman I am today. This thirst seems unquenchable, and in a little while, I'm going to be immersing myself in a new pool of self discovery – Kundalini yoga. Kundalini yoga isn't at all like other yoga types – it is a very different way of moving, breathing and meditating than all the yoga types I've practiced before. It's intense - physically, mentally and emotionally.
I felt an inexplicable attraction to Kundalini yoga the first class I took about 2 years ago. It was a workshop I followed with Kundalini teacher Guru Gian.
I was hooked.
And that scared me. So I ignored my curiosity and just went to classes for the experience of it.
Yeah... foolish. But it's my thing. Whenever I feel too excited about something, I ignore it, because maybe it might be scary to feel that good. Or maybe I'm afraid it might not feel as good as I expect it to be. Human emotions – crazy right?
But a while ago I was taking a class from my favorite Kundalini teacher Kim Bakker, and I felt it. I HAD to do a Kundalini teacher training. I had to learn all I could learn about it. And I had to go to India and learn it from this beautifully magnetic teacher called Gurmukh Kaulsa. And most importantly: it had to be as SOON as possible.
People said - why not wait a year? Take the time to save up some money, or just do it here in the Netherlands and take your time with it.
I can't tell you how wrong that advice felt to me, I wanted to reply – 'what?! Are you crazy - it has to be now!' Now that I feel the yearning so strongly. Now that am free enough to leave for 5 weeks. And not in a year, or in 2 years, when I don't know what my life will be like.
And so, I gathered up my courage and booked it. This September: Golden Bridge Yoga, Level 1 Teacher Training.
An ashram in magical Rishikesh, India, for 4 weeks. Scary. Waking up at 4 am every day. Working my body and mind harder than I've ever done, all day, every day. Feeding my consciousness with more inspiration and knowledge and empowerment than I've ever absorbed all at once.
Honestly, I don't know what I will learn. But I believe it might be one of the most extraordinary experiences of my life. Probably also very hard. Most likely there will be a lot of crying. Definitely a lot of physical pain. Hopefully some soul-healing. Possibly, it will be a life-changing event.
I must admit – I'm anxious about it. I'm anxious about not being physically strong enough. I'm anxious about being outside of my safe comfort zone. I'm anxious about not knowing how it will change me and how it will change the way I live my day to day life.
But I'm ready for it.
I am ready to disrupt the comfort in myself again and challenge myself to grow and expand.
I am ready deepen my relationship with myself. I am ready for India.
I'll let you know how it was in 5 weeks 🙂